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February 8, 2013 | in Australia & New Zealand, Travel

Birds and Beer in New Zealand

Wellington New Zealand

Day #10,290: After a chilly night in Hastings, we were up before sunset to drive across the North Island of New Zealand.  Mr. M & I had a flight to the South Island to catch and wanted to leave plenty of time to make it to the airport.

New Zealand
Beware the terrifying moment when you wake up from a nap while on a NZ road trip.  “SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS, we’re on the wrong side of the road and ABOUT TO DIE!!!  Wait… not dying… on NZ road trip.  Right, then. Carry on.”  Drift back to sleep.  Repeat every 30 minutes.

Our morning wasn’t slated for mere transportation.  The whole beauty of the road trip is being able to engage with the place through which you’re traveling- the journey is pretty much whatever you choose to make it.

Throughout our stay on the North Island, we kept seeing advertisements for something called Tui.

Tui Beer
I thought it was a chewing tobacco company… is it my 1/4 part Appalachian talking, or does ‘tui’ sound like someone spittin’ out tobackey?

Turns out Tui is a beer, home-brewed in New Zealand.  (This gem of knowledge only came when I finally saw Tui on a menu and realized that a side of chewing tobacco would be awfully unlikely.)  When I realized our road trip was winding right past Tui Headquarters, I made a Last-Minute Executive Decision that the morning necessitated a stop.

Tui Headquarters

Our spontaneous decision to visit Tui Central meant we arrived an hour before it even opened and had to camp out in the parking lot like drunks.  Who shows up to a brewery at 9am?

Peacocks.  Peacocks and drunkards.
Peacocks, that’s who. Peacocks and drunkards.

One of the Tui employees even came out to check on us and make sure we were okay.  I figured the employees drew straws and the shortest one had to come out and try to discern if we were drugged, already sauced, or dangerous, but she just wanted to offer us a seat inside by the fire since the morning was so cold.  Kiwi are some of the nicest folk we’ve met anywhere. :)

At precisely 10am, Mr. M & I became the first boozers on the scene and decided to hit the small museum to lend legitimacy to our visit.

Tui Headquarters
Rather than the sound of spittin’ tobackey, Tui is in fact the name of a magpie-like bird endemic to New Zealand.  (Umm… does anyone else feel that the tui bird’s throat sac should have a censor bar posted over it, or am I the only preteen boy in the room?)

Tui is quite proud of its slogan: “Yeah, right.”  Neither Mr. M nor I could figure out what business the phrase “yeah, right” had in trying to get people to drink more beer (or for that matter, what business it had being used in the year 2010), but some of the phrases Tui was ‘yeah right’-ing were pretty funny in a ridiculous, unapologetically chauvinistic way.

Tui advertising
Tui clearly markets to frat boys.  “Bikinis shouldn’t be so small.  Yeah, right.”

Assuming 10:30am was late enough to respectably ask for a drink at the bar (“Yeah, right”), Mr. M & I opted for a beer tasting.

If we’re being honest here, I think beer is quite disgusting.  I wish I liked it because it seems satisfying to have a beer at a baseball game or perhaps after mowing the lawn.  (If we had a mower.  Or a lawn.)  But alas, beer tastes like fermented yuck.

Please tell me you've seen the 90's movie "Can't Hardly Wait," wherein William the Nerd tastes beer for the first time and promptly sprays it out, screaming "Nobody touch the beer!  The beer has gone bad!"  I agree, William.
“Nobody drink the beer!  The beer has gone bad!”  Oh, right… it just tastes like… beer.  The best part of this picture montage (from 90’s high school movie Can’t Hardly Wait) is the too-cool Keg Guardian wearing the purple see-through mesh shirt and coordinated red undertank. YES.

But when in Rome… or Tui Country, New Zealand…

Tui Beer Tasting
I’m a terrible drinker.  This is after an inch of beer.  In my defense, it was 10:30 in the morning, and New Zealand beer “flights” are really just three, full-size pints.

Unable to come remotely close to finishing our tasting- a very good thing, considering we were in the middle of a road trip (safety disclaimer: Mr. M, at least, was a Very Responsible Designated Driver- as if you’d expect anything less from him), we continued on to Wellington.

Giant Kiwi Bird
The effects of my inch of beer became clear when we encountered this giant papier mache kiwi bird, and I screamed in excitement and made Mr. M pull over for this clearly indispensable picture.

There was actually no need to scream, as giant kiwi birds are happily everywhere when taking roadtrips through the North Island countryside.

new zealand kiwi bird
Giant-size kiwi birds have taken over!

In almost every town we drove through, we saw these wharenui– community meeting halls devoted to propagation of Maori culture.

maori marae new zealand
The wharenui are used for weddings, cultural events, funerals… pretty much anything that might gather the Maori community together.

By the time we made it to Wellington, Mr. M & I only had an hour or so before we had to skedaddle to the airport- sad, sad, sad, and one of the many reasons why I need to return to New Zealand.  What’s a girl to do with only an hour?  See the Wellington Botanical Gardens, of course!  I love me a botanical garden.

Wellington Botanical Garden
Oh, you vibrant succulent, you.

The Wellington Botanical Gardens balance high atop one of the city’s beautiful hills.  We found street parking, set our emergency brake, and got to wandering the green-laced paths.

Tui bird
Ohholycrap!! I was SO excited to spot this real live Tui bird in the Botanical Garden! We *just* tried your beer, friend!  This bird seemed like a perfect gentleman, and he chirped something about not associating tuis with frat boy chauvinists.  Or balls.  Agreed.  Let’s spit on it.

And just like that- as quickly as Wellington came into our lives, so she left.

Wellington New Zealand
We at least saw a tiny bit of the city from the Kellburn Lookout at the top of the Botanical Gardens.

Because there’s so much of the world to experience and so little time to experience it, we’re generally pretty extensive in the depth of our traveling- we try to do it all because I figure I won’t have the luxury of returning.  But from our first day in the country, Mr. M & I both felt like New Zealand was somewhere that we would need to revisit (in fact, it remains Mr. M’s favorite place we’ve ever been.  Ever.).  So it wasn’t goodbye to Wellington- it was till next time.

These pretty amazing giant tree ferns were allll over the botanical gardens.  The coiled fern fronds are a common design in Maori & New Zealand culture.
These pretty amazing giant tree ferns were all over the botanical gardens. The coiled fern fronds are a common design in Maori & New Zealand culture.

After our flight to the South Island, we only had a tiny bit of day left to explore Christchurch, wander the funky SoMo neighborhood, and enjoy some yummy Himalayan food on Columbo Street.

River Avon Victoria Square Christchurch
A gorgeous footbridge over the River Avon in Christchurch.

Although we were honorary Christchurchians (?) for only a few hours, we found it to be one of our favorite cities on this three-week trip through Australia and New Zealand.  Our hearts go out to the people of the city who are still working to rebuild in the aftermath of the devastating 2010 and 2011 earthquakes.  With such a resilient spirit, I have no doubt that the city is just as beautiful as it was when we visited.

Christchurch Cathedral
The gorgeous Christchurch Cathedral (we visited in 2010) was so damaged by the 2011 earthquake that it had to be demolished. :(

I do think I need to return soon anyway… just to make sure.

The New Zealand sunrise in our sideview mirror.
The New Zealand sunrise in our sideview mirror.

Details of the Day:

Accommodations: Thanks to the glory of tripadvisor, we had the good sense to stay at CentrePoint on Colombo Motel in Christchurch.  The room had free wifi, a fridge & microwave, and a massage recliner in front of the tv!  Score!  The husband and wife owners, Jeff and Naomi, were unbelievably friendly.  (Happy P.S.: Both owners and motel are okay, and Colombo is open post-quake!)

Visiting Christchurch: At this time, one of the best things you can do to help Christchurch rev back up to normal after the 2011 earthquake (which ended up being the 4th deadliest natural disaster in New Zealand’s history) is to go visit!  Support local businesses!  Just be sure to book your accommodations pretty far in advance, as not all hotels have re-opened and beds are at a premium.

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Comments

  1. pamasaurus February 9, 2013 Reply

    I would have screamed and made Daniel stop for a photo at that kiwi, too. Unlike Mr. M, though, Daniel probably wouldn't have stopped. Or he would have and complained about it the rest of the trip. He never stops when I tell him I want to take a picture of something.

    • msdulce February 11, 2013 Reply

      So I'm not the only one who understands the necessity of a giant kiwi photo op! :) Ha! I think Mr. M just realizes it's always easier for him to pull over for my ridiculousness. I can out-complain that poor man any day. ;)

      • pamasaurus February 11, 2013 Reply

        Daniel is just really stubborn. Sometimes I think he likes to listen to me complain ;)

  2. Pingback: Keeping the Possums Out in Hastings, New Zealand | Spend Your Days

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