I wish I liked art museums. Art-Loving Me would sip martinis and engage in witty banter about Jackson Pollock. Art-Loving Me would skip into the MOMA in ballet flats with a sketchbook under my arm (“for inspiration, darling!”). Marc Jacobs would likely make Art-Loving Me his muse.
But- like pickles and Mad Men and pilates- art museums seem destined to remain fixed in the category of Things I Want To Like… But Really Don’t.
Sorry, Marc Jacobs.
Happily, there are exceptions to every rule, especially when the rule is made by me and when it’s so frosty outside that there’s really nowhere else to take cover.
Last winter, Mr. M & I decided we needed to inject some culture into our lives and decided to hit the Guggenheim. Pepper me with hate mail, but it was not good, friends. NOT good.
The low point was a diorama in which a taxidermied squirrel was seen slumped over his dining room table having just committed suicide by squirrel-sized handgun. I seriously spent the rest of the day shaking my fists heavenwards, despondent over squirrels suffering from undiagnosed depression (for the love of God, WHY? What could I have done to help? More acorns?!).
They did NOT teach us this crap in vet school.
Day #11,235: After a year of trying to suppress the idea of squirrels committing suicide (I still maintain that was not art but a waste of a perfectly good squirrel carcass), I was ready to get back on the proverbial horse. Besides, it was 15 degrees outside, and we’d both agreed that it would be a Cardinal Sin to live in New York City and not visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
The Met was determined to change my mind about art as soon as I’d walked in the door. The very first exhibit plunked down in front of us was an ancient Egyptian tomb constructed in 2300 BC. 2300BC!
I’ll admit I was a little concerned about how we came to procure such a treasure… I remember reading about all the obelisks that Napoleon essentially ransacked and usurped as Parisian decor, but it turns out someone actually bought this from the Egyptian government over a century ago. An ancient Egyptian tomb is quite the thing to buy, no?
Possibly even more amazing was the Temple of Dendur, built in 15BC and given as a gift from Egypt to the U.S. in 1965 when rising floodwaters from a newly built dam were poised to submerge it.
I could have sat still in this room for a very long time. It was so peaceful.
Prosaic as my choice may be, one of my favorite artists is Louis Comfort Tiffany.
His famous stained glass windows are so bright and colorful and always make me happy. (Hear that, creator of squirrel death? Happy!)
I did try to branch out and visited the modern art section for as long as I could tolerate without getting annoyed. I even found a piece that I kinda liked.
Just as my least favorite collection is pretty much always the modern art, my most favorite is almost always the African & Oceanic Art. The Met wing of African & Oceanic Art is absolutely amazing and chock-full of ceremonial masks and costumes.
The ceiling is covered in wooden shields from Papua New Guinea, and it became one of my favorite art installations ever.
I loved it so much that I decided it needed to be recreated in our living room and that Step One necessitated a balls-out expedition to Papua New Guinea. Mr. M was not as enthusiastic as I’d hoped… but he’s not in charge of planning our travel.
As our museum patience started winding down (“I’m huuuungry…”), and we exited the famous steps of The Met, it honest to goodness started to snow. Big, fluffy, magical flakes of snow that made me remember how lucky I am to have access to New York City and art in general. Even art I don’t like.
(But not that poor squirrel. I’m still pissed about that.)
Details of the Day:
The Met (easily accessible by the 4, 5, or 6 train at the 86th St stop) operates on a donation basis. Although there’s a recommended donation of $25 for adults, all are welcome to pay whatever each can afford. If you can afford it, the museum is AT LEAST worth the $25. Calling it amaze-balls is underselling the experience.
And hey, while you’re in the area, you may as well stop at Le Churro (1236 Lexington Ave) a couple blocks over, right? Although Mr. M & I shared a traditional cone of churros, I recently went back with a friend who introduced me to the Nutella-Filled Churro. Good God, it’s Christmas morning.
**Writing this post made me curious, especially because I’m sure y’all must have some very interesting answers: what’s on your list of Things You REALLY Want to Like… But Really Don’t? Rounding out my top five are butterflies (yecchhh, they’re still insects) and Hemingway novels.**
I love art museums! I'd love to get to the Met one day, but I've never spent a lot of time in NYC. My one friend took me to Build A Dino and to the top of the Empire State Building. That's about it. Now I want to go back... just to eat Nutella filled churros! Omg, must have them now! I need to start planning a trip, haha. It's sad that it's only a few hours away and I've been there twice in my whole life. Have you ever seen the movie Dinner for Schmucks? It's a... strange... movie, but you reminded me of it with the squirrel 'art'. Steve Carell plays a taxidermist who makes dioramas out of dead mice. He did a recreation of the last supper that was pretty amazing, hahahaha. Things that I think I should like but don't? I actually have a lot of these! Oatmeal, American History (Gimme anything before then, and I'm in, but I find our history to be boring... not old enough?), most 'classic' novels and movies made from said novels, Cats (the musical), raw tomatoes, The Lord Of The Rings... I'll just stop now, haha.
I've never seen Dinner for Schmucks, but I just googled said diorama, and you're right- amazing!! He even attached little faux beards to some of the disciples! I actually *love* taxidermy (is that creepy?) but somehow have drawn the line between cool & disturbing at squirrels committing suicide. :} The nutella churros might be worth the couple hour trip to NYC alone! It's always the places that are *kinda* close that I end up not visiting. My own town is easy, and faraway places always seem like an adventure, but I tend to forget about places in a 2-3hr drive radius. Like Philly! I have another for your list- mushrooms: the vile fungus! :)
I can see why that line would be there. I think suicide in any form might be disturbing in art, personally. I'm learning to like the vile fungus, though! I did mange to think of two more: Dave Matthew's Band and The Beatles.
I'm with you on The Beatles! That's a good one to add to the list!
I really, really want to like gardening. It is great to grow your own food and know you are getting the very best, but after the last several years of trying, I just can't really like it enough to stick with it. I force myself, especially this time of the year, to get all excited about the upcoming gardening season. This excitement lasts just until it's time to start picking out seeds and tilling up the ground. Ugh! And having a strictly carnivorous husband makes it seem like way too much work for only my enjoyment.
For all its joys, gardening is a lot of work! (Or maybe I should say, *looks* like a lot of work, since I've never lived anywhere with an actual backyard in which to garden!) I'm always impressed by people who grow their own anything! Hopefully the boy at least appreciates all your hard work? I'm sure the ladybugs & aphids do! ;)
Excellent collection of museum photos. I suspect that everyone has had your experience with works of art. I work really hard to NOT think things like, "My 5 year-old niece could have done that!" I guess that it truly is in the "eye of the beholder."
Yes! I may have mumbled something to that effect whilst wandering the modern art wing. Mr. M is set on visiting the MOMA soon... even though *this* beholder's eye might not enjoy it, I'll at least do my best not to say it out loud. ;)
BTW, in an effort to broaden my reading experience, I've been on a campaign to read more books that have won the Pulitzer for fiction. I'm about 4 books in, and so far, it's about 50/50 on should like but don't. (e.g. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay - big like, Empire Falls - not so much)
What a great quest! I always wonder what I must be missing when I read a great ("great?") work of fiction and Just. Don't. Get It. But I suppose we're all allowed to have our own literary taste... I know there have definitely been a few classics I thought might've been 'grandfathered' in! (Thanks for the suggestion with The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, too!)
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